A Tricky Mouse
by Batzarro
Summary: Fluttershy has a song for the world! But on the way to protect her song she learns a thing or two about art from a nasty little rodent. Cynical humor, some language, implied violence.


"Is this the line?" Near muttered Fluttershy. Ahead of her, a long line of ponies waited before the gates of Princess Celestia's castle. Applejack gently nudged her sides.

"Course it is. Look at the sign." Fluttershy looked up, and did see a sign that said "Copyright offices of Equestria" on real nice font.

"You're right. Thank you all for accompanying me." She said to her friends Applejack, Twilight Sparkles, Rarity, Pinky Pie and a very drunk Rainbow Dash. "But what do I do now?" Asked the introverted yellow pony, doing her best not to swat a fly zoning in on her rump. She loved all creatures, even the ones that wanted to plant maggot eggs in her posterior.

Twilight chimed in, with that air of condescending arrogance that defined her ever since she got her wing's. "Do the line, Eff Shy, before people think you're not in line."

Fluttershy did not like to be called Eff Shy. She was pretty sure by "Eff" Twilight DOES not mean "Flutter"

But as she was stepping forward, she heard a voice from below say "Watch out, uhh you ditz!" As she looked below she spied something most unusual: a gray furred mouse in red pants, with his whiskers combed into a thin pencil mustache, standing perilously close to being stepped on by her.

"Oh, my. I'm so sorry. I...were you in line?" Said an embarassed Fluttershy. The mouse crossed his little arms. "Well, you can't prove otherwise, can you? I'm here: don't step on me. I'm a very. Important mouse over here, you know?"  
>"And you're ganna tell us awll about it, ain't cha?" Slurred Rainbow Dash, almost certainly sarcastically, as she hung her hoof from Rarity's shoulder. The mouse ran up Fluttershy's leg all the way up her head.<p>

"I am Mikhail Walt Mouse, founder of Mousey Park." The girls all simulgasped. Rarity, in a flashed, replied "You Made that fabulous park with the rides and and that beautiful castle?" She said, quickly losing her excitement when Rainbow Dash began licking her face. Mikhail Nodded. Then Pinkie Pie approached the mouse. "You're the one who made those wonderful stories into cartoons?" The mouse again nodded.

"Please, Mr Mouse, let us know what wonderful new character and stories you've brought to register." Said Fluttershy. Mikhail just laughed.

"We don't come up with new characters anymore, child. We mostly buy them. Anything out there is remotely popular, we throw money at it."

Mikhail climbed down his horse-head pedestal and into the line again. After the descend, he combed his whiskers and asked Fluttershy. "It's only fair I ask, Madam, what you and your friends came here for."

Fluttershy blushed. "Oh. I came to register a song I made. I'm going to put it up in Itunes soon, and I heard that's something I should do. My friends decided to accompany me, and some of them brought their own works to copyright."

The Mouse gave a long, toothy smile, and spoke: "My, oh, my, is that so? It's good to register a song. You don't want anybody should be making a profit from your hard work, huh?"

"I...I guess not..." Answered the yellow pony. "That's right. And you don't want anybody just singing your song for free without paying you?"

Fluttershy didn't quite understand. "That sounds a bit...overprotective." The mouse shook his head. "Don't get cocky with me. I make millions in licensing my songs out. I deserve to be able to ruin anyone's life for even THINKING about my song."

Twilight Sparkle addressed the mouse, in the dog-femaliest tone possible. "But the constitution of Equestria says that copyright is supposed to foster the useful arts."

Mikhail's eyes glew red at the mention of that! "I know! That's why I'm here! That stinkin' paper mentions that copyright only lasts for a limited time! Do you know what that means? "

Twilight made that stupid face she always does. The mouse took notice of her book she held.

"Say, your book: 'Cursed to Stone and Other Spells by Princess Twilight '. You register that today, but do you know how long that lasts?"

All the ponies looked at each other for answers, except Rarity, who was too busy wrestling herself out of Rainbow Dash's grip.

"Well, it'll end 75 years after you die! And then it'll be..." he began sobbing at the mere thought. "It'll be public domain... PUBLIC DOMAIN!"

Fluttershy gasped. "Public Domain! That's bad, isn't it?" The Mouse skitted in circles, huffing in fury. "It's terrible! Anyone can copy your book and use your characters...without paying you! They'll be putting your book in library, and you'll get nothing from it! And...and her song! Anyone will be able to sing it and...enjoy it...for free!"

"Now wait just a minute, Mister!" Interjected Pinky Pie, unlikely voice of reason." Your cartoons use public domain characters ALL the time! You did that Alice in Wonderland one. And the Aladdin one! It was offensive to me, as a Muslim, but Aladdin is public domain!"

Pinkie Pie could not go through 3 sentences without mentioning she was a Muslim. Fluttershy found it a little grating.

"Yes indeed I do. I take from the public domain ALL THE DAMN TIME. AND I'M GODDAMN PROUD OF IT!" Mousey rubbed his little paws greedily. "That's why I know copyright is all too short! If I had a say, copyright would last a Billion, trillion years. And that's why I'm here. To make copyright last forever."

"Again" spoke Twilight from her whore snout."Constitution. 'Limited times'. You can't?"

Mousey winced. "Oh, I already have. In 78 our most popular character was going to lapse. So we went in, and told Celestia that copyright was way too short. It needed to be longer, we said. Not only that, but we got her to make the change retriactive."

All the ponies silently stared at him, to the point all that could be heard was Rarities begs and moans, and whatever it was Rainbow Dash was yelling."

The mouse sighed. "Way back when, copyright was 15 years. But then they made it longer. However, the works that were created in the time it was 15 years still lapsed on the law of their time. That's how it worked. But when we came in in 78, and 98 that wouldn't have worked for us. We wanted our stuff NOT to lapse. So we asked the law to apply to all copyrighted works. We got them to lock EVERYTHING up for no less than 75 years...just for us. "

Fluttershy was flabbergasted. "But isn't sharing your works nice? Isn't that the point of creating art?" But the mouse replied " Lady, "nice" and "sharing" ain't gonna fill my company's coffers. What IS going to do that is if we can keep our stuff in the public domain until the heat death of the universe! That's why I'm asking for another retroactive extension. If I keep this up, I'll own most of pop culture eventually."

"Next!" Yelled a voice from inside the office. The mouse did a little courtesy bow. " It seems it is my turn. I'll let you know when copyright lasts 300 years, kiddoes."

In the spacious office, sat a solitary desk, which had a bespectacled Princess Luna. The mouse approached with feigned humble attitude.

"Hello, Mikhail." She, tapping on the desk with her hooves. "You know me? You're not my usual..." Replied the mouse. She sighed "I was tied up at the moon for a few years,and now I'm free and finding stuff to do. Celestia spoke of you mice, though. Your gifts are well known to me. What brings you here?"

The mouse climbed up the desk. "Well, Honorable Princess Luna, I come on behalf of all the citizens of Equestria. Our artists, our poor poor artists can hardly create works of art."

"Really?" Asked Luna. The mouse nodded. "Really. They are ruined by our lax copyright laws, that last such a short time. Imagine, please, if you created a beautiful song. Do your children benefit from that? Barely. They only enjoy 75 years after the death of the original author. Tell me: can you create...knowing that?"

Princess Luna stood silently for a while, then drew a bottle of Vodka. She took a big gulp, straight out of the bottle.

"You say you represent everyone's interests?" She asked. "Because if you think you can come here and just play kissass with me, you are wrong. I know what you're doing. But Princess Celestia's all lobbied up by you, so...let's do it."

"Excuse me" came a voice from the door. Slowly, the shy yellow pegasus. "I don't think that you should do what the mouse is saying."

"FUROTESHAI!" yelled Luna, racistly. The mouse looked at Luna. " You know this horsey?" He asked.

"Of course I do. She's shot glowing shit at me. Why what's the matter, Fluterrer?"

Fluttershy stood at the door. "Maham, This mouse has plans to subvert our copyright laws to suit his own interest. He would deny us the very creativity Copyright is supposed to endorse, from all works of ponies."

"I understand that." Said Luna. " But most people don't know that. They don't understand copyright and how it works. I don't have a lot of reasons. It's unfair, but a few mice speak louder with money. "

"I have something to say about this" said an assholish voice from outside the office. When in walked Twilight Sparkle.

There was a small pause, interrupted only by the cries of Rarity from outside.

"Mithrandir..." said Luna, licking her lips. Twilight replied by making the pony equivalent of a gang sign, albeit one that didn't involve any fingers.

"I believe that it is the right of all sentients to enjoy as much of our collective culture as possible. Copyright is an acceptable sacrifice for a creator, but it's gone too far." Said Twilight, using the focused totality of her being a bitch.

"A Princess has a lot of sway in this matters, Mousey. I have to at least consider it." Said Luna. Mousey prepared his defense. "Her word is still worth less than Celestia's."

"What about an Imam?" Said yet another interloper, this one a pink Earth Pony, known as Pinkie Pie.

"Salaam, Pinky Pie." Said Luna. Pinky Pie continued. "Salaam, Luna. It is not of Allah, to lord over that which belongs to everyone. The mouse has an unfair advantage over us normals, in his unending wealth. Please do not allow this injustice to go through. After al, are the Quran, the Torah, and the Bible not public Domain?"

Luna felt very sad. She knew Celestia would be furious: for the Mice had formed strong bonds with her through gifts.

"Please" said Fluttershy "You go into people's dreams at night. Would you think it fair to own their dreams...their future?"

A tear formed in here eyes, Luna banged her gavel, which is weird, because she isn't a judge, and doesn't have any digits ."Mousey, I have to refuse your request. If nobody opposes you, you can get away with anything, but if they stand against you, you can't get away with anything. Time for you to GTO."

The Mouse frumpled his way out, stopping at the door. "You can't stop us. We are the immovable. We go into countries, and tell them what their laws will be. We will have our day, eventually..." then he ominously walked out.

"Fluttershy, your bravery and machoey goodness has saved us from losing thousands...or millions of works to excessive copyright durations. I bow to you, and will take special care to visit you tonight..."

But Fluttershy knew that stopping this change was not enough. Eventually, she started a movement to actually make copyright durations shorter. But that, my friends, is another story. 


End file.
